I realize quite distinctly how dependent I am on the sunshine for my mood. Not that I cannot be in a good mood without it, but that I don't have to try when it is here. Yesterday it was 72 degrees, and I took Zen (and 5 of his friends from the playgroup I started) to City Park to play on the playground. We had a picnic, and fed the geese. Then we went home, and I laid Zen down for his nap. After nap we went and flew the kite he got in his Easter basket, then went for pizza with a new friend.
I was just in a good mood, seemingly for no reason. And I realize that it is the sunshine.
Sun has always been like a symbol for God to me, even down to the fact that you can never look straight at it. Like the transcendentalist idea that God can never be understood by our human capabilities, and the sun can never be perceived by human eyes because the capabilities of the eye are not such to handle it. So when I see the sun, I always think of God, and to me, icky days feel more devoid of his presence.
So I went and bought 10 kites yesterday, so that all the kids can have one if we do a playgroup kite flying day or something. And this morning, Zen and I went out and tried to get the kites up, but we weren't blessed with the windy day we had yesterday.
Dad always used to put kites in our Easter baskets, in place of candy when he was with Dianne. I hated him for it. But now, I do it for Zen, too, and treasure it now that I am an adult. I wish I could have seen what he was trying to do, and not be so blinded by what I wanted. I suppose that God is working in a similar way, and that my reactions are still the same, though.
2 comments:
i think it's funny how you just described this because you've always been a sun. you shine into people's lives and it makes sense that more sun on you would recharge that goodness. you make me feel like the sun makes you feel. i think you do it to everyone. and when you're sad or in an "icky" mood, that's like a cloudy day. no shining.
i hope the sun always shines on you so that you can reflect that light to others. it's selfish, i know but i love feeling the light you can give.
Thanks for a cool picture of God-- great analogy. And glad you had a happy, sun-shining, kite-flying, pizza-eating kind of day! Love you! Nice to talk to you and Zen tonight!
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